


carpathia

by fireflavoredwhiskey



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: American!Eren, Drama, Feels, Fluff, French!Levi, M/M, Modern Contemporary Titanic Setting, Titanic AU, UK to US
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflavoredwhiskey/pseuds/fireflavoredwhiskey
Summary: "Don't come near me!" He warned again. "You're just distracting me, go fucking away! I'm going to jump if you come any closer!"The guy paused. With raised eyebrows, he shrugged noncommittally and slowly, very slowly, stepped beside Eren. He placed his elbows on the railing, leaning. "No," He finally said, staring ahead. "You won't,"Homeless Levi Ackerman is a street-tenure thug.New Yorker Eren Jaeger is a modern-day royal.Both aboard RMS Carpathia, what would happen when these two souls collide ㅡ with the impending tragic fate they would have to face?A story literally based off James Cameron's Titanic. All aboard, you're in for an unforgettable cruise.The Playlist™





	1. Angels to Fly

**Author's Note:**

> RMS Carpathia, originally, is the name of the ship which rescued all the refugees from Titanic. This time, Carpathia _is_ Titanic itself.
> 
>  
> 
> I am not very sure if I have the fortitude to finish this work up until the very end. But for now, just a head's up, the storyline is only until the time they first met.
> 
> I admit I'm not very original regarding the plot and lines and dialogues (I have the film's script memorized by heart after all✌) but this is only for entertainment and leisure purposes only. Read in your own discretion.

 

_**15 May 2007, 09:15 AM** _  
_**RMS Carpathia** _  
_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _  


 

Life's a bitch, really. Especially when you're poor.

Not that thirty-one year old street-tenure Levi Ackerman minded it, though. It was since he's ten that he had established the fact that as long as he's alive, living and existing, he can go on with life. And yes, as long as Farlan was giving him a stash of his daily cigarettes as stale as they were, he said he can handle it.

But fucking shit was it cold. And they're hungry. They were fucking starving.

"A bit cold, yeah?"

Levi glanced at Farlan and smirked. "Yeah," he nodded. " _Bloody_  cold," he said, mocking a British accent. He didn't mention his grumbling stomach, knowing Farlan was having it worse than him.

It was ridiculous, yes. Aside from the fact that they were here, starving, aboard this bloody luxurious cruise ship routed to New York City, they were indeed the luckiest sons of a bitch in the entire population due to the fact that Levi won their tickets through poker from those Spanish morons.

It was five minutes before eight and the gates were closing when Levi exclaimed bloody murder as he slammed his full-house cards on the table announcing, "WE'RE FUCKING GOING TO AMERICA!" to the whole pub. He couldn't control his glee as he hauled Farlan up from his seat, still grinning devilishly. "I'M FUCKING GOING HOME! YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT NEW YORK HOTDOGS, CHURCH!"

Farlan might've been choking that moment regarding Levi's arms around his neck but since the old lady on the bar drawled, "Well you better hurry up, morons, Carpathia was leaving in five minutes," Farlan wasn't able to do anything about it.

It was a blur. Still inwardly screaming  _I'm going home, fuckers!_  Levi managed to haul every property he has (and had won, including the tickets) in his duffle bag. Farlan was the same, he was ecstatic, really. And who wouldn't be? Levi was going home and Farlan can finally see the Statue of Liberty. Not to mention all the legendary hotdog stands, as Levi said ㅡ oh god, the  _hotdogs_  ㅡ in New York City that everyone claimed as the best.

They swiftly fled to the docks, and when they lined up the queue, Levi noticed they were the last ones.

"Javier Soledad?" The inspector inquired, eyeing Levi as he handed the ticket.

"Yessir," he nodded solemnly, a bit nervous if they needed IDs because goddamn, they don't even have a legitimate one. Levi glanced quickly at Farlan's ticket. "Matteo," he smirked to him. "You sure you got everything packed,  _compadre_?"

Farlan easily caught on, though the inspector seemed weirded out about the fuck that these English men got Spanish names? Farlan didn't even know the word  _yes_  in that language. "Of course," he said.

"May I have one ID orㅡ"

"A _aaaaaaaaall_  aboard!"

RMS Carpathia was about to cruise.

"Oi!" someone shouted to the inspector. "Get those people in, right now!"

"O'right," The inspector said, annoyed. "Get in, get in," he ushered Farlan and Levi in.

Farlan had to suppress his laugh, then.

" _Aaaaaaaaall_  aboard, then!  _Aaaaaaaall_  clear!"

It was when they were already looking for their bunks in E Deck when Farlan knitted his brows. "Aye, Levi," he said to the other guy who kept on searching for  **E Deck - Bunk 592.**  "I thought you're fucking French!"

Levi scowled, "592," he said, and he stopped at a door and opened it. "Yeah," He finally answered Farlan, grunting because Levi liked to grunt as much as Farlan liked to swear. And Farlan's half-Irish, half-Welsh, so. " _Of course_  I'm French!"

"Then why the fuck are you going  _home_? You said you're from Marseilles, mate!"

_"Oui,"_  Levi confirmed. "Though I don't know how the fuck do I wound up here. But my mother's in America. My only family's there, so that's m'home."

"Fucker, I thought you're under Kenny the bloody Reaper,"

_"Oui,"_  Levi grunted again. "But the moron left me two decades ago. Just saw him again yesterday at that brothel, two prostitutes in his arms, then said my mother's in America."

"Ah," Farlan frowned, not really fully understanding it. "So now you're just on adventure. I like it." he paused. "Well I'm from Mullingar," He shrugged, and hauled his duffle bag on the top bunk.

"Who the fuck says you got the top bunk, huh?" Levi said, punching his leg.

An hour after they wandered along E to B Deck, the two men found themselves on the A Deck. Unsurprisingly, Farlan got hold of some cigarettes which they were smoking and it wasn't noon yet and their stash was already depleting.

"'Am starving, shit," Farlan mumbled.

And that was why life's a bitch.

They have no money. They have no ID. And shit, they don't even exist in that ship. They were fucking Javier and Matteo at the moment. Even in their low class tickets, they weren't on the list for the upperclassmen dinner. Thank god there were still steerage services, sort of.

It's a good thing Farlan still got his camera. It wasn't much but Levi found it amusing, so. And they're not living off rats and can pay their rent back in Southampton because of that thing. Plus, Levi's there. He has no particular talent that would appear to be decent at all costs but he's good at police chase and the art of pick-pocketing. He's a wanted man, all right. But he'd be damned if he said he's proud of that fact.

"How many days this ship will cruise?" Farlan asked Levi as they dawdled their time on the upper deck, still smoking and eyeing people.

"Five, I suppose," Levi said, clicking Farlan's camera away, his eyes in the viewfinder. "Heard it from the guards up front. We're arriving on the 20th,"

Farlan shuddered in excitement, "I can't wait to see the statue," he said, then seemed to realize the idea, and began to laugh a bit terrifyingly. Levi's used to it. "I'm gonna see the Statue of Liberty!" He shouted. Some lady in heavy jewelry glanced at them and she immediately scurried off when Farlan continued to laugh manically and held a finger at her. Levi shook his head.

"I wonder what's for dinner later," Farlan said, noddong at some people he didn't know. "I suppose the E Deck got at least some beer, yeah? I won't hope for deluxe steaks but I hope we can sneak some from the kitchen, eh, Levi?"

No answer.

Farlan pushed himself a bit off the railing and looked at the other guy.

And Levi was. Staring.

Of course he heard Farlan. But he couldn't respond. A minute ago, while he's snapping random shots, a very unexpected scenery made him pause.

Maybe it was the late morning sun, but no. Or maybe he was just as curious as he wanted himself to believe.

He was standing a good six meters on Levi's right, just leaning on the railing also, looking down at the sea. He was wearing a beanie, the kind that those pretty rich college rebels wear. A grey beanie partnered with a beige scarf that almost obscured his face but in the given angle, Levi could still see it.

_Yeah_ , he thought. He's just curious. Wonderstruck, perhaps. The young boy was an innocent beauty; he couldn't deny that. But it's not the kind of beauty which you see in the billboards and commercials ㅡ Levi has seen a lot of those back in England, good God. This beauty was raw. It's like a face in an old, intricate painting, drawn and brushed by a master. Or like a face from a vintage photograph, kept and buried for a hundred of years, yet the beauty was preserved, like a wine.

He could be an angel, he thought. A lost one, just standing there, without his wings.

But, _tch._ He was a jaded bastard. He should ignore him. Even so, Levi couldn't stop taking pictures. It was when the film was out that he stopped and just lowered his camera. And it wasn't that he's being creepy butㅡ

He heard Farlan chuckled. "Aye," The part-Irish, part-Welsh said, giggling. "You little shite, stop daydreaming. You'll just break your heart thinking about it,"

He still didn't know how Farlan can say something sensible from time to time. It's just.

"Yeah," Levi grunted, squinting from the sun, still staring. Then he smirked. He's just a pretty face, is all. "'Know that,"

Levi's not dumb. The boy might be pretty but still, he held a first class ticket and his beauty can attend the Upperclassmen dinner later. Well, he supposed he and Farlan can very well attend, too. It's just that, they weren't on the list unlike this boy, so.

But Farlan giggled harder when Levi didn't break his gaze. Angel boy's hair was mostly hidden, but he could tell it was brown and mildly cropped. And he was a bit sad. Melancholic. Or maybe it's because he didn't crack a smile? He looked a bit hollowed out and that bothered Levi. Who the fuck was he?

He was curious about his name. Miguel? Anton? His skin was naturally tanned. Was he Hispanic? He kept on listing some heavenly names in his mind as a guess but he grunted for the umpteenth time, stopping himself. Now he's being pathetic.

He looked at Farlan who's still shaking and laughing. "Bloody hell, mate, you need to get laid," he said.

Levi rolled his eyes and looked at the young boy again. He could've sworn he was looking back that 0.92 second but he could never be sure because when he looked again, a petite blonde girl appeared behind the boy and whispered something in his ear. At first he's not paying attention. But when the blondie started to hold his hand, his shoulders imperceptibly tensed and he walked off.

"You can fall in love with a lotta bitches and homos in the E Deck, mate, even in the C. But Levi, he's a fucking prince," Farlan stated, his eyes also following the retreating youngster. He wolf-whistled. "That ass, though."

Levi scowled at him, halfheartedly snorting a laugh as he shook his head. "You're fucking weird, Church,"

Farlan just guffawed. "Now I  _am_  the weird one, eh?" he said.

And "Dick," was Levi's only comeback.

 


	2. A Toast!

_**15 May 2007, 09:10 AM** _

_**RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

 

Life's a bitch. Especially when you're rich.

Eren Jaeger didn't want to sound so ungrateful about life because he knew that billions of people were willing to exchange position with him right now. He wasn't the boy who complains, ever. Since the beginning, he knew that he was destined to be a puppet prince. He was born with a silver spoon so what could he ask for?

But.

He's just.. Eren. The boy who can see fire or earth or water in people's eyes. The boy who can make buildings explode inside his head. The boy who can paint the sky pastel pink and purple and bright magenta. He's somehow different, he knew that. But simply, he's  _just_  Eren.

He didn't want a silver spoon; he wanted a paintbrush. He didn't want to be a puppet prince; he wanted to be an artist.

The thing was, when Grisha Jaeger died in a heart attack in the middle of a very important conference meeting in Manhattan, Eren and his mother discovered that they were left with a bazillion of debts and an almost bankrupted business.

Long story, short, he was entitled (or forced rather) to be engaged with one of the Reisses just to save Carla Jaeger, his mother, and himself.

What can he say?  _Mother, I don't want to be tied to Krista! I don't want to inherit a stupid company! I just want to attend university! I want to—_

Unfortunately, Eren wasn't that selfish. So after he swallowed the pain of losing his own freedom, he accepted it all without blinking a tear.

For the record, Krista was a very beautiful, kind, and respectful girl. And Eren knew she loves him so much. He also knew very well that this was the only thing he can do to save everyone. Not just his mother whom he didn't want to succumb into working to death to pay off their debts, but also the lives and jobs of every single one of their employees back home were depending on her.

But.

 _What about being happy? What about university? What about freedom_?

Eren couldn't blame his father. He didn't want to blame a dead person. Also, he knew it's not Grisha's fault. In fact, he missed him so much; his death has shaken him, but he knew that if Grisha was still alive, Eren could be very sure about pursuing his dreams and being the best person he wanted to be. Not some puny little boy who needed to get married at the age of twenty, just halfway his program in a good Fine Arts University.

He didn't want to think about the  _what if_ 's _._  So he just decided to let the chips fall where they may, now that he's already engaged.

But ever since the engagement ring was fitted around his finger, he cannot see fire nor earth nor water in people's eyes anymore. He cannot make buildings explode inside his head anymore. And he cannot distinguish shades of pink and purple and magenta anymore. The gift of the soul bestowed upon him was gone.

"Bloody hell, mate, you need to get laid," a boisterous voice said, followed by a hysterical laugh. He gripped the railing tighter when he realized the sound was coming from a blond guy just a good five to six meters on his side. He stood there, laughing manically, with another guy beside him. They both looked rugged, unmistakably holding a third class ticket. But nonetheless, Eren envied them. How come they looked so... contented and... happy?

His fingers twitched, wanting to paint the scene.  **The Majestic Duo**. One highlighted in striking gold. One burning in warm onyx. But— Realizing he wouldn't know  _how_ , he willed himself to stop thinking it.

The blond has a boyish and nice-looking face, given his attire of poorly matched clothes. It's a bit freezing out here on the upper deck and Eren guessed they're already cold. Well, he's already shivering under his thick, woolen designer clothing and his scarf and beanie; what more of these two?

The other guy with onyx hair was not unattractive either. In fact, this one caught his attention even more. He was sharp, and better-looking than the boyish one, with his undercut hair and straight fringes parted almost in the middle, barely curtaining his eyes. He's quite short; Eren was fairly sure he, himself was a couple of inches taller than the guy, who was now holding a camera and snickering with the blond one, engaged in a conversation about whatnot. They were smoking cigarettes.  _Were they gay?_  Eren wondered.  _Shame, if not._

"What are you doing out here, Eren?" a voice behind him said. He blinked.

She didn't realize Krista's presence. But to be honest, he was ignoring her. The moment they all boarded the ship, he managed to lock himself in his own suite on the B Deck and after an hour of sulking alone, he grabbed his beanie and scarf and walked out to see some sunshine.

"Why are you ignoring me, Eren? Talk to me," Krista pleaded, to no avail. She was very patient still, and Eren admired that about her.

"Why aren't you wearing some gloves? It's cold out here..." Then she started to catch his hand.

Eren became frigid, and without further ado, he left.

 

 

 

_**05:46 PM** _

"Eren, are you in there?" Mikasa. She was outside his door.

"Nobody's inside! Go away!"

He could've heard his cousin's sigh outside. "Eren, stop it, just open the damn door."

He didn't respond.

"Eren, I know you don't want anyone around you right now but for fuck's sake, your mom told me to come and fetch you. Auntie's worried. And I bet you're not yet dressed and dinner's at six. Have you unpacked your tux?"

Eren buried his face on the pillows. "I don't want to wear a tuxedo. I like my old sweatshirts."

He didn't want to ignore Mikasa as well but his mood wasn't improving. He didn't want to lash out at her. She's one of his best friends and he would be forever grateful to Mikasa and her boyfriend Jean for coming with him in their Europe trip and to visit the Reiss' main house in Bradford. He just couldn't be with Carla and Krista and the whole Reiss family alone. Mrs. Reiss had raised her eyebrows at the request—she didn't like Jean ever since, anyway, because of his 'attitude' and rudeness but Eren insisted (even if he actually didn't like Jean  _that_  much) and Krista even agreed, so the couple were with them.

"You know what—I got it now, I'm gonna go back to Auntie, tell her you don't wanna go join the Upperclassmen dinner and then of course she wouldn't say anything, but later in her suite, she'd cry a bucket and—"

The door immediately opened. "Lock the door," a very glum Eren muttered. He hated Mikasa when she guilt-trips him. It's almost always effective.

Sighing, Mikasa followed and locked the suite door.

"Wow," Eren's best friend looked around. "You're alone here? Jean and I are on the upfront suites and we share—shit—they have those cookies!" she eyed the cookie jar.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Help yourself,"

But Mikasa didn't grab some cookies and Eren laid down on his bed. The only sound present was Beethoven's "Fur Elise" playing softly from the speakers high-jacked in Eren's phone.

Then, "Eren," Mikasa said, sitting on his bed. "I know what you're feeling right now.."

Eren almost laughed. Suddenly he wanted to laugh as hard as that blond he saw earlier. "No you don't, Mikasa. Nobody can understand me now, just go and leave me alone. Tell them I have stomach flu or some shit. I don't wanna go to dinner,"

For the umpteenth time, Mikasa sighed. "Okay, Eren, I— I don't know what you're feeling right now but I understand  _why_  you are feeling like that. I know this is hard. I.. I would lose my mind if I'm in the same situation as you right now, Eren. I can't imagine being forced to marry someone I barely know. Hell, I can't imagine not being with Jean, no matter how much of an asshole you think he is and even though he  _is_  truly as moronic as he can be but," Mikasa held Eren's hand. "I know you're strong. You can do this. I know you can."

Abruptly, Eren sat up, facing her. "That's just it," he said bitterly. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to—" he gritted his teeth. "Every minute, every second ticking, we're coming close home. I don't wanna go home, Mikasa! I don't wanna step back to New York knowing what's gonna happen—" Eren saw the walls of his suite cave in, halting him. He momentarily lost his share of oxygen.  **The Atlantic Eating Eren Jaeger.**

Mikasa pulled him in, as Eren gritted his teeth, eyes unseeing. She might as well cry, too, because, God, she didn't know what else to do.

"It's okay, it's okay," She cooed.

But of course, Eren knew. It was not. It was not.

 

 

 

_**07:32 PM** _

Mikasa thought she finally convinced Eren for dinner, that's why he went.

Nah, Eren thought inwardly. He just didn't have a choice. And he wouldn't want to face Alma's (Mrs. Reiss) wrath any other way.

"Nice of you to finally join us," Jean beamed at them, standing at the entrance of the dining hall. He's wearing a nice tuxedo as well.

"Well, Eren needed a whole lot of convincing." Mikasa shrugged, giving Jean a chaste kiss. "Where are you gods seated?"

Eren suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, shifting his hands to place it inside his sweater's front pockets. Realizing he switched to a tux, he frowned, looking back at the couple walking alongside him. He snorted.

They made their way to the hall, greeting some people here and there. Eren knew some, but most were unfamiliar faces. He was actually surprised a lot of them knew him.

"Ah, Mister Eren Jaeger!" some geezer appeared beside him. "Is that you?" he said. He seemed kind but Eren can't be so sure. The old man looked at him from head to toe. Then that's when Eren saw worms crawling out of this man's eyes. Of his ears.

"Yes," a blond guy much shorter than Eren appeared by Eren's other side. "This  _is_  young master Eren." Blondie paused. "So will you excuse us, sir?" he led the way in the dining hall.

Inwardly sighing in relief, Eren shook his head, lightly smiling at his young butler.  _Oh, Armin. What would I do without you?_

"He's a business man back in New York, Sir Pyxis," Armin whispered in his ear, as if this was relevant news. "He has some business trip in London with his son. I'm sure you'll meet him." he smiled half-heartedly.

Eren raised a brow.

Armin sighed. "Be  _nice_ , young master. I know you think there's something's off with him ㅡ" Eren scrunched his nose at that, "but he's an important business figure for your father. You need to behave."

Eren rolled his eyes.

It was a while when they were all settled down the table and Eren was still not speaking. Maybe this was what Armin meant by being nice. He needed to socialize and act like he cared. He felt sorry for him because he just can't; how can he act all happy? It wasn't realistic. Nobody deserved this attitude he's showing. But, still. He didn't deserve this life he's about to plunge into, either.

_Cling! Cling! Cling!_

A tingling sound broke Eren's train of thoughts, and across the table, he saw Alma holding a wine goblet. Oh, Christ, not tonight, my hysterical mother-in-law. Eren's eyes flitted to Carla. She was already looking at him. She smiled sadly. _I'm sorry, honey._

"I would like to propose a toast!" Alma's face gloated.

He couldn't breathe. Everything he's hearing was not real. It kept on vibrating around his skull, all meaningless.. As he stared at the napkin in front of him, he felt like he was spinning and spinning and spinning around. Or falling and falling and falling and it's worse because he wanted to just hit the ground.

"...my beautiful daughter...Krista Historia Reiss...her soon to be husband...Eren Jaeger..."

Eren gripped the edge of the table. He was shaking.

Surprisingly, it was Jean who held his hand. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

His lack of response was enough for him.

"Okay, umㅡ" Jean interrupted while Alma was still in the middle of her extravagant speech. Eren knew that Krista's mom's going to be pissed. She wouldn't be interrupted by a Kirschtein.

But still, a Kirschtein _was_ a Kirschtein. And Jean was his savior for tonight.

"ㅡwhat a lovely toast, Lady Reiss, wow! This champagne is great, eh? What is it?" Jean asked around, looking really interested about the drink. If Eren didn't know better, he could've been fooled as well.

"It's actually Bollinger 1996 Vielles Vignes Françaises, the classic,"

For two agonizing seconds, Jean looked dumbfounded, then he opened his mouth, "That's a fucking mouthful," some ladies gasped, "Oh hush, I'm sorry for my dirty mouth." Some men actually found this entertaining as they all laughed loudly at the exchange. "Babe," Jean looked at Mikasa by his other side. "We need to get this exact one in our wedding! The Classic Balongerㅡ"

" _ㅡ_ _Bollinger_ ,"

"Bollinger, indeed, thank you. Goodness, this champagne is a winnerㅡ"

Alma's cutlery clanged at her ceramic plate, her face was flushed with annoyance "With all due respect, Mr. Kirschㅡ"

"OhㅡI almost forgot, yeah, the toastㅡ! What was that all about again? Yes, my homie here, Eren, eh? And our girlㅡKristie! Cheers to them and all that! Grand huzzah! Now tell me," he turned to a man across him, looking all serious yet the glint in his eyes told a different story, "Mr. Schneider, you are the architect of the ship, indeed?"

Mr. Schneider seemed surprised but gleeful that the conversation was steered to him. "Yes! I am, dear boy!"

"Oh," Mikasa adlib, "I heard Carpathia took two years to be made...?"

Everyone was now in a deep conversation about the sheer beauty and architecture of RMS Carpathia. It's laughable, really. How Jean can do this so easily. He truly was a gem. An asshole of a gem.

Alma, on the other hand, was fuming. Eren glanced at Krista but she seemed unaffected. Though her ears were red. He couldn't identify if she was flustered of what obviously happened or if it's regarding the fact that Jean just referred her as Kristie.

It's a long, long talk. Consisting only of mindless chatter. From the ship's aesthetic beauty and strength and stability, to an actual conversation about champagne and wine. To the amazing land of Australia, to the best hits of Elvis Presley and Elton John.

When everything came to a halt, Eren figured it's time to escape. A final squeeze of Mikasa's hand was enough before he excused himself from the table. He just wanted to sleep, is all. Before entirely leaving, he tilted her head to Krista, making sure Alma saw it. Then he offered a hand to his fiancee to pull her out of sight.

"Krista, I think I got a headache, I need to sleep. I gotta go," he whispered softly.

Krista looked worried. "At least let Armin walk you back,"

"No," Eren said, smiling a bit, "He's having a good time over there. You stay here and have a chat."  _And hear about these gods bragging about their own universes._

"Are you sure, honey?" Krista pouted. "I thought you're mad at me for something..."

Eren gave her a warm smile, then kissed her full on the mouth. She responded, of course, but Eren pulled away first. His lips were numb, and so was his soul.

"I gotta go," he said, "See you in the morning,"

 


	3. First Encounter

_**15 May 2007, 9:07 PM** _

_**RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

 

It's a couple of minutes past nine and Eren was still staring at his reflection on the long vanity mirror of his suite.

He still felt numb. And all he can see was a reflection of a pathetic, little, isolated guy. Tied in chains. Heartbroken. Sad. Empty.

Armin, his personal assistant and the Jaeger household butler came to check on him earlier. He tried to help Eren changing into his night clothes but Eren politely refused, saying he can do it himself later. Armin pursed his lips, nodding. He knew Eren had a bad habit of sleeping in his day clothes. This habit developed back home, when he was still always painting late at night until daybreak. It was an escape and a stress reliever at the same time.

But now Eren can't move. He can't think. He can't breathe. The walls of his suite were closing on him again. He can feel water filling up his lungs.

Then abruptly, with a forceful tug, he began to claw his neck, ripping his necktie and coat and then flinging it to the ground. He swept the contents of his bedside table next, feeling a sort of satisfaction when he saw his things clattered on the cold floor, and Eren began to yank his hair next. His effortless yet elegant hair which was once slicked back for the diner party was now yanked and disheveled. He was frenzied; he was angered. He felt this burning heat to just  _let go_  and spin around until he was ablazed and dying in flames of insanity.

He can vividly see the landscape from an omniscient view.  **The Deranged One.**

But it wasn't enough, he thought. After ripping his expensive clothes and throwing the shimmering ring around his finger, he moved to claw his dresser as well, flinging everything away. He managed to get his hands on a turquoise hand mirror—a token gift from Mikasa when they were fifteen—and with a feral, broken sob, he forcefully threw it against the wall.

Poor mirror, as it was now cracked and ugly.

But then he was afire. And he still refused to think even when he opened the suite door and ran outside, along the B Deck promenade halls. It was quiet. Most of the people were either still in the upperclassmen dining hall or in the steerage general room. Eren was running. Streaks of kohl were faintly visible on his cheeks, evidence of his crying.

He pushed past an old couple strolling around. "Are you okay, young man?!" The man called out but the distraught Eren continued to run.

He wasn't thinking, all right. Everything for him was a blur. Literally a blur since his cries were unstoppable. But he can't run forever. The length of RMS Carpathia wasn't enough to keep him running just to create a lie and a feeling of escape. Because Eren knew, in reality, that he was forever tied.

It was then when he slammed at the base of the stern flagpole of the ship and was staring down at the black water when he stopped.

Eren thought no one's around. Everything was quiet, except for the ocean. He was breathing heavily when he clumsily and awkwardly clung to the railing, and then he began to climb over.

When he successfully mounted himself over the railing, Eren began to be further drawn down to the black water. He closed his eyes, feeling the wild fire inside along with the icy air whipping his hair, stinging his cheeks.

It must be an insane picture, he thought.  **The Dangling Boy at The Back of a Ship.**

"Come on," a low voice said. "I'm anticipating. Go on. Jump. Do it,"

He almost jumped at the voice behind him. It was ridiculous, actually because when he looked back at that moment, he could still laugh at how mocking yet genuinely calm that voice was, considering the whole situation.

Eren, distracted and still distraught, whipped his head to the side in instinct to get a view of the intruder.

It was a young man, probably around Jean's age, twenty-five or twenty-seven. But everything was still unclear because of his tears. He was just standing there, watching him. His hands were buried in his jacket pockets.

"Stay back! I'm fucking warning you, you don't want to come any closer," Eren's voice was shaking.

The guy snorted, moving cautiously closer. "Don't worry, angel boy, I have no intention of getting involved. I mind my own business. If you wanna jump, just jump. Then I can watch you die,"

If anything, Eren  _was_  pissed. Enraged, even. Maybe it's because of how calm this guy was. Or maybe because of the  _angel boy_  thing. It didn't make any difference that he sounded a little bit British. The young man spoke in a combination of light English and French accent and ugh, he still couldn't think straight. But— Eren knew how most Londoners talk, in their accents. This guy wasn't originally from downtown London, if he would guess.

Eren blinked, annoyed that this guy have distracted him.

"Don't come near me!" He warned again. "You're just distracting me, go fucking away! I'm going to jump if you come any closer!"

The guy paused. With raised eyebrows, he shrugged noncommittally and slowly, very slowly, stepped beside Eren. He placed his elbows on the railing, leaning. "No," He finally said, staring ahead. "You won't,"

Eren gripped the railing tighter. "What do you mean  _no, I won't,_ you rude, assuming, British bastard—!"

The guy smoothly lit a cigarette in his mouth. "I'm French," he clarified. "And for the record, you would've done it already, jumping." He stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "But you didn't, so."

Eren scoffed, not believing the nerve of this guy. "You're so— _go away!_  And I don't fucking care whether you're British or French or some other shit,"

The guy huffed a low laugh, shaking his head. "That's rich, coming from a Yankee," he said. "Farlan's right. He said people from Manhattan are mostly just shitty brats—"

"I'm from Queens!" Eren said indignantly.  _Assuming asshole._

He shrugged. "Okay."

Eren slitted his eyes. "Can you  _please_  go away?"

The guy didn't immediately respond. He took a long drag from his cigarette before answering. "Eh. Can't believe you actually said  _please_ , considering your obvious rich upbringing." He glanced at him sideways. "But well, you have a bad mouth, meaning you're not yet fully corrupted." He smirked, "I sound ironic, eh?"

Eren made a face. Then, "Sir. Please. Can you just leave. Me. Alone."

For a moment Eren thought the guy would actually consider. But, "Can'ff," he said nonchalantly through his cigarette. "Well, I guess I can. But I'm involved now, and you don't actually give me a choice," he smirked.

"You said you didn't plan in being involved."

"I kind of lied. You're sort of amusing. It's a boring night."

Eren stared. He should be offended, but his mind was just swimming. Now that the tears have stopped, he can finally see his intruder. He looked familiar. "What are you wearing?"

He blew some puffs of smoke in the cold air as he knitted his brows. "What d'you mean?" There was a pause. "It's a fedora," he fixed it on his head.

"I know it's a fedora!"

He shrugged, scowling, "Then why did you ask if you know it's a—"

"What I mean is, why you are wearing a fedora!"

The guy laughed mockingly, as if Eren wasn't dangling on the other side of the railing. "Because I like it," he simply said. "Found it somewhere on the aft of the promenade deck—"

"I'm not asking where you got it!" he gritted his teeth. Eren officially hated this guy. "Just," the anger was back and it's making him choke some sobs. "Goddamit, just fucking go away!"

Swiftly, the guy put his cigarette in between his fingers. With a last drag, he flicked it away and threw it down the vast blackness below. "Like I said, I can't, because I'm too involved now. If you hadn't ask about my fedora I might leave you alone but." He pushed himself off the railing. "Now, if you let go, I have to—" he promptly took off his faded denim jacket, "—have to jump in after you,"

"Don't be absurd, mister. You just said you're anticipating when I will jump. And besides, you'll be killed,"

"True,  _tsk_." The guy said. "But then I thought, what will I gain? I have the conscience of the devil but I don't think watching you drown will highly amuse me. I think you'd be more useful when alive."

Eren stared, not knowing what to think of this guy.

"And also, I'm a very good swimmer." he said, "In fact, angel boy, back at Cheshire, I taught Farlan how to swim," He started unlacing his left boot.

"The fall alone will kill you," Eren stated the fact, his nose up in the air.

The other guy grunted, moving to take his unlaced boot off, "Maybe. I mean, yeah. It would hurt, Can't say it wouldn't. Truthfully, I'd like to see your face when you finally hit the cold water. It's the first yet most painful blow."

"You're a sadist." Eren deadpanned.

"And you're suicidal," The guy countered. "Fair enough, eh? We make a good match."

Eren scowled. He looked down, and slowly, the reality hit him. Suicidal. He  _was_  suicidal. Below him was the cold ocean. And he didn't know how to swim. "How cold?" he asked, still frigid.

"The Atlantic?" The guy said. "Freezing, most probably," he said, taking off his hat and securely placing it on the floor behind. "Maybe just a couple of degrees over," He starts to unlace his right boot. "You're American, right? Ever been to Alaska?"

Eren looked at him, perplexed.

Guy grunted. "Haven't been there myself," he said, "but bloody Kenny has." He paused when his voice hit an octave lower. Eren might've said something against the silence but then he continued, "Anyway they have the coldest climates there. You know what ice fishing is?"

How did they end up talking about ice ishing?

The guy continued, "It's when you put a hole on the—"

"I fucking know what ice fishing is!" He snapped. "Do you think I'm dumb? I studied in California!"

He smirked, raising his hands as an apology. "Sorry," he said, pausing. "California, huh. That explains the tan. You look like a surfer dude, with the, windswept hair and all."

Eren gaped.

"Except with the built. You're kinda lanky, kid."

First,  _angel boy_. Now,  _kid_. What the actual fuck. "Are you actually this talkative?" he genuinely inquired.

"Nah," The guy shook his head. "This is a record for me, actually. And mostly I don't know what I'm saying right now."

"Are you high?" Eren slitted his eyes again.

The guy ignored this. "Anyway, ice fishing. T'was okay. Back in England, in Fanshawe, it was a norm every winter. It's tedious at first, but a lot of fun to be honest. But once I went through some thin ice... and I'm telling you, water that cold? Like down there?" he paused, breathing a low laugh. He shook his head. "I don't think you'll make it, angel boy."

There was a pregnant pause. Eren gulped.

"But well, that's kind of the point, eh?" The guy continued. "I don't know about you but," he finally took off his right boot, "I'm not really looking forward jumping right after you. But you give me no choice. So, you jump, I jump." He looked at Eren sideways. "But you know what, maybe I'm kinda hoping you're just going to get over the railing, kid. Spare yourself the pain. And, you know, get me off the hook here."

Eren shook his head. "You're crazy. Absolutely deranged."

"Right." He nodded solemnly. "That's what everybody fucking says. But with all due respect, angel boy," he tilted his head so he was a bit closer in his ear, "I'm not the one hanging at the back of a ship,"

The guy stepped closer, still cautious. Then he offered his hand. "If you don't wanna create a spectacle here, just give me your hand,"

Eren exhaled. And when he looked at this madman properly for the first time, he realized it's not the first time, then. He realized why he was a bit familiar, because—it's  _him_. He didn't say much more, though. Just, "Alright."

He unfastened one of his hands from the railing, reaching to hold the guy's palm. Once the guy caught it, he clasped it tightly. Slowly, very slowly, Eren turned around, now facing the ship. The guy shifted fully so they were completely eye to eye when he turned.

He whistled lowly when they were already facing each other, noses almost touching. "Levi Ackerman," he said, face impassive.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ackerman." Eren's voice was still quavering. "I'm Eren Jae—"

It happened very quickly then.

When Eren looked back, he could've sworn it was because of his goddamned dress shoes. It was new and slick and slippery when he tried to step up. And the railings were also wet because of the temperature, so his shaking legs weren't so much of a help. He slipped, all right, but  _fuck_ — He didn't fall.

He was crying again, and screaming for help while Levi, his intruder turned savior, kept shouting, "I got you, I won't let go!" His grip was like a vise. His face determined and eyes ablazed.

That moment, Eren could give up. He was so ready to say,  _It's okay, just let go!_  but the look in the other guy's eyes didn't let him. Levi ignited his hope to live.

So he gripped tighter, and when he said, "C'mon, kid, just haul yourself up, I'm not gonna let go, I promise!" with all his last strength and with all the glory left in the world, he hauled himself up, clinging to anything for dear life. And then he's being lifted, and the guy wasn't letting go, as he promised.

Strong arms snaked around his waist and the force just toppled them over, making them fall on top of one another on the ship's safe side.

He was still sobbing, and the guy, Levi, kept on saying, "I got you, I fuckin' got you,"

He was on top of him, but Eren can't feel the weight at all. The guy was just looking at him, absorbing his disheveled and ugly state.  _I must look pretty bad_ , he concluded. Eren wouldn't ever remember it, but the light in Levi's eyes told an entirely different story.

He started to say "Thank—" when Levi was being lifted from him. And when an unfamiliar old man started to shout "What the fuck is this all about?!" as he handcuffed Levi's hands, Eren started to panic, but he was frozen and couldn't say anything at all.

 

 

 

_**15 May 2007, 9:38 PM** _

_**RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

 

"You got the nerve, huh?" a man grabbed Levi by the lapels of his jacket. "What the fuck are you thinking, putting your hands on a Jaeger, you filth! Look at me!"

Yeah, Levi, what the fuck are you thinking?

But still, Levi wouldn't budge. He wouldn't even look at this tall (Levi was a couple of inches smaller), enraged man in front of him. Who the fuck was this oversized penguin?

Levi didn't want to admit it but in all actuality, this penguin looked a hella intimidating and well-built. Blond and broad. He's good looking, all right, and he understood this man's hatred because of the misunderstood situation. But then again, he found this boy—Eren—about to jump off the ship because of a certain reason which remained unidentified. And for all Levi knew, this penguin could be one of his fuels to be this suicidal.

It  _was_  scary, actually. The entire scene earlier before these bastards came. He forced himself to remain calm but inside, he's a bit panicking. He did see how hopeless this boy was. He saw the life seeping out of him, firsthand. He didn't know his entire life and his reasons at all but he could understand. At that moment, he might've let angel boy jump.

But then again, he's an Ackerman. He's Levi Ackerman, for fuck's sake. He might never be an upright man of exuberance, integrity and life just like how Farlan was. But still, he'd never let the poor boy go. There was this... flare, inside him. A small flare of hope for the boy to live. The hope for him to survive. The hope for him to be happy.

His life was shitty, damn, he knew that. He got his tickets in Carpathia through poker. Before they boarded the cruise ship, he was practically living in a pub with Farlan; having his uncle Kenny banished him from their own apartment two decades ago. Since then, he moved from town to town, shitty flat to shitty flat, testing his luck. He met new people, mostly thugs and thieves and criminals. Yet sometimes he'd meet good people, too, like Farlan. But still... he's homeless. His so-called mum was far away. Kenny hinted she's in New York if not in Nevada.

It's not that he wanted to look for his biological mother. For fuck's sake, he didn't know her. It's just.. a reason to be in an adventure, as Farlan pointed out.

Still, with all of these, he managed to live. Never in his whole life, the idea of jumping off a cliff or slitting his neck appealed to him. He wondered... what could've happened to this boy, to make him think that he already has no way out?

"You shít," the overgrown blond penguin spat. He looked older when he's mad. Levi guessed he's around twenty-eight, but right now, he looked thirty-five. Levi looked much more youthful. It's one of his few redeeming qualities. "Why can't you say something, huh? Look at me, you basta—"

"Reiner!" The boy's voice rang. "Stop it! It was an accident!"

Reiner paused. "An accident?"

The angel boy, pale and still a bit shivering, ran up to them, holding Reiner's arms. "Indeed." he said. "It was stupid, really." He looked at Levi. "I was leaning over the railing to see the... uh... the..."

Levi raised his brow.

"The... uh,"

"The propellers?" Reiner supplied.

"The propellers!" He exclaimed, "I was leaning to see the propellers then I slipped! And I would've gone overboard if Mr.  _uh_ , Ackerman here,  _Levi_ ," he pointed out, looking directly at him, "didn't just pass by and save me. He almost went over himself, but, this is all a misunderstanding. Right, Levi?"

Levi had the tiny urge to ask what the fuck he's blabbering about but he's not that cruel. He understood the kid's situation. The master at arms laughed, "Dear, dear," he said, shaking his head.

"H-he saved you?" Reiner spluttered. "Fucking shít, Eren," he squeezed him by a hug so tight, "You almost fall off the railing and—? Jesus Christ—"

Yeah, Reiner. Jesus Christ, indeed.

The police looked at Levi seriously. "Is that the way it was?"

Levi took a quick glance at Eren, having his name remembered already. And Eren was already looking at him.

 _Please,_ he seemed to say.

It took a heartbeat when Levi made the decision and sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. That was pretty much it," his voice was raspy, resigned.

"The man's a hero, then! Good for you, son! Very heroic and fortunate you passed by, eh?" They started unlocking Levi's shackles.

The guardsmen of the ship and Reiner had a very quick conversation of hushed mumbles and voices before Reiner turned to him.

"Mr. Ackerman," he said promptly. "I am very much sorry for what I said. I really do apologize. "

Levi shrugged. "I understand,"

"And I am very grateful for your presence and about what you did tonight." Reiner nodded at one of his men, "Wilson,"

"C'mere boy—" Wilson gently ushered him aside.

Levi frowned, "What—"

"Is that it?" Eren was whispering at Reiner, scowling. "That's the rate of saving me? One hundred?"

There was tension along with the pause.

"Eren was displeased.. What to do.." Reiner was murmuring. "Oh. I know."

Levi's brows had gone to his hairline at the exchange, and when he saw Wilson pulling out some bucks out of his inside pocket, he nearly laughed at the absurdity of the entire situation.

"Mr. Ackerman," Reiner approached again. "Before we part tonight—" Levi internally cringed and snorted. What the fuck was this penguin's saying? "—I would like to invite you for tomorrow's dinner? Perhaps you can recount your heroic tale over champagne?"

Levi was thinking,  _Is everything supposed to be this formal when these rich morons talk?_ But he said, "Sure, count me in."

When Reiner and Eren were gone, Levi turned to Wilson. "You can just keep the money, mate, I'm not asking for it. I did save Eren because he needed saving."

"The _young master_ will be very disappointed—"

"Just keep it, I don't fucking want it." He said with such finality, a bit irritated. "Can I just bum a smoke there?"

Wilson raised his brows. Smoothly, he offered Levi a pack of Marlboro.

Levi got two sticks, one which he placed right above his left ear and the other one in which he lit.

"You might want to tie those," Wilson said to him, referring his unlaced boots that Levi managed to put back on along with his much-loved fedora. Wilson began to walk away. "It's a bit astounding how swift you are."

Levi scowled at him.

"It's just that the young mister slipped so suddenly and you still had the time to untie those."

 _Tch,_  Levi thought. But he kept his mouth shut.

 


	4. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [♬♪♬♩](https://open.spotify.com/user/ellesanmiguel/playlist/5mNIylBBsA0uPeFHYyuXNs)

_**16 May 2007, 7:07 AM** _

_**Hall Sina, Suite 110 (Eren Jaeger's Class A Suite Room)** _

_**B Deck, RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

The next morning, Eren was awakened before the sunlight hit his eyes. He rolled over, pulling the quilt off his face and staring at the ceiling of his suite. It's still dark; the rest of the world was still asleep. But then he felt an ever-present thrumming of  _something_  beneath him and oh. He closed his eyes. He's still aboard the ship. He's still alive. So he guessed he didn't drown last night and—

He sat bolt upright, suddenly very aware of everything.

What the hell happened again last night?

He closed his eyes as the memories hit him, wave after wave after wave of guilt and shame drowning him. He flopped back down the soft bed again, feeling defeated. He didn't want to leave this room forever.

But at least no one suspected. No one knew the real story, his real motive. He convinced Reiner about his curiosity-for-the-propellers story to feed the rest of them last night. It was quite a commotion, hearing that a Jaeger almost died because of the damned propellers but it's exposure as well. The only ones whom Eren knew that didn't buy it at all were Mikasa and surprisingly, Armin. Carla was furious and Jean was shook at Eren's own "dumbness" but overall, the incident's novelty ended quite quickly. But he's sure it's going to come back full-force tonight since his savior will be on the spotlight. Now all he needed to do was find that guy again and talk to him before dinnertime. Right. That guy. He surely remembered Reiner inviting him for tonight's Upperclassmen dinner. He felt nauseous. Will he tell them the truth? That Eren was as suicidal, lonely, useless, and selfish as everybody thought? He didn't sing last night, though. He might want something for his silence. But.. was he that kind of guy? Eren didn't know. It physically hurt him to think and ugh, he needed some coffee first.

A few minutes after he ate breakfast with his beloved Krista and the rest of the grand royals, he sneakily excused himself telling everybody that he was still nursing some mild migraine. He wasn't exactly lying; Armin even brought him some Advil along his coffee before he went up to the breakfast lounge earlier.

"Baby, are you sure you're feeling well?" Krista looked at him with worried eyes. They were supposed to hang out at the First Class General Room to chitchat with rich businessmen. "You were having that migraine since last night and… are you  _sure_  you're okay?" She was talking about the incident.

Eren scratched his cheek, looking a little apologetic. "Yeah. Just shook is all, I guess."

"Then you have to rest," Krista said, concern genuine in her eyes. Eren looked away. She's such a good person that sometimes he would feel the guilt doubling.

"I'll walk him to his suite," Reiner stood up from his chair. Eren saw Jean scrunched his nose up at the guy distastefully. Mikasa gave him a nudge.

"Er," Eren opened his mouth. "Well.. I'm—"

"Actually," a voice piped in, sounding firm yet polite. It was Armin. He was already standing beside Eren. "I think Master Eren just needs to breathe some fresh air, in order for his meds to kick in. I'll take him up the deck." he paused, looking at Eren and nodding his head. "Shall we, sir?"

Eren looked at the rest of them, both relieved and apologetic. Reiner scowled but he sat back down. "Excuse us, then," Eren said.

Krista squeezed his fiancé's arm gently and with a small smile, Eren and Armin exited the room.

 

**✖**

 

"Look," Eren started, "I—"

They were wandering along a quiet corridor on the A Deck when Armin stopped and faced him. "Young Master."

Eren blinked, then he scrunched his nose up. "I told you not to call me that anymore when we're alo—"

"Eren," Armin said promptly.

"Much better," he said, grinning. But his smile faded at Armin's next words.

"You know I didn't believe everything you told Reiner last night, right?"

His shoulders slumped. "Yeah. Mikasa didn't as well. But she hasn't got the chance to corner me yet."

Armin crossed his arms. "Seeing you're obviously dodging the topic, I'm not surprised."

Eren sighed, looking at the blond with as much regret as he can possibly muster. "I'm sorry."

Armin dragged a hand on his face. "You're not even telling me the whole story yet and you're already apologizing."

"It's because I'm really sorry,"

Armin looked away. "Okay, spill."

So he did. Eren told him everything. They ended up chatting for several minutes at an emergency stairwell leading towards the Mid Class General Room. Armin looked displeased as he should be, but Eren plowed through. It's hard to begin his story because it all started with his dark feelings of oppression but this was Armin. He's not just some butler. He was Eren and Mikasa's childhood friend.

When he finished, Armin didn't immediately talk. He sighed, deep and long, then he looked at Eren with those big blue eyes.

 **The Pacific Blue.** Eren had depleted mostly his blues and whites painting Armin's eyes alone when he'd pose for him in the past.

"Eren," Armin started. "I know you've been sad. Mikasa can't stand it because, well, she's Mikasa. But me, I've been pretending I didn't know. It's…" Armin frowned. "I just thought if we didn't encourage you to wallow up in depression maybe you can actually go on. But," he paused. "I didn't know you've got it  _this_  bad."

Eren looked up, tilting his head until his head bumped against the steel wall behind him. "I didn't know too, Armin." He said, looking above. "I didn't know until he pointed it out."

Armin snapped his head to look at him. "Who?"

"That guy." Eren said. "Actually." He paused, "I gotta go see him now."

Armin scowled as he watched Eren got up and stretched his limbs. "Eren," he said. "Are you sure you need to do this? You can just thank him later tonight. Besides, if he started talking about you being suicidal again I'm going to knock his teeth off before he can continue."

Eren smiled at the idea. Armin hated violence. And he can't possibly knock anything off in that guy, all right. He couldn't be so sure but somehow, he just  _knew_.

"You know what, you're right. I've been thinking too much. I realized I don't really need to do this," Eren said, turning away to climb down the stairs.

Armin blinked. "But, Young Master. Why are you… still going?"

Eren looked back over his shoulders, smiling a bit. "Because I want to."

 

 

 

_**16 May 2007, 9:13 AM** _

_**Third Class General Room** _

_**E Deck, RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

Eren almost faltered when he unlatched the gate leading to the Third Class General Room. At first he was confused. Then he realized the feeling creeping out of him. He felt out-of-place. Suddenly, he was a shimmering gem in the midst of these people. No offense, really, but he didn't know there was an entirely different and boisterous and loud world apart from them inside Carpathia. It's kind of absurd as well because he should've expected this and here he was, culture-shocked and stunned. The steerage men near the gates paused their game of cards just to stare at him.

He fidgeted, gulping. He looked around, looking for a certain man with those sharp eyes and face and—

There. He's playing some kind of arm wrestling game with a tiny girl with blonde curly hair. The kid reminded Eren of a girl version of curly Armin. He's downplaying it, though, Eren realized. The guy was faking a scrunched-up face as the girl giggled, losing the round.

Eren opened his mouth, wanting to call out the guy. What was his name again? Levi, right? But.. what's his last name? Mr. Levi Somewhat?

Another guy near Levi glanced up. He has a cigarette hanging between his lips. The guy has a shock of dirty, ashy blond hair and was currently talking to a cute pink-haired girl with wild pigtails. The guy glanced away again, then he took a double-take at Eren.

Eren breathed in deeply. Huh. He's a Jaeger. He will not back down. Slowly, he marched towards unsuspicious Levi who was still playing with the blonde cherub.

A hush fell, causing some children around them to stop chasing a rat with their shoes. Some steerage passengers wolf-whistled. Some sneered. Eren heard a mutter of "rich fuckers" which he ignored.

Dirty-blond guy ribbed Levi beside him. He didn't look hurt but it caused him to flash an angry scowl. But when he looked at his friend, he was staring up ahead, mouth opened. Levi followed his gaze and—

"Good morning, Levi." Eren greeted casually in front of him. He internally cringed, not wanting to use the guy's first name in the first place but he has no other choice.

The cherub kid Levi was playing with looked up at him with both awe and apprehension.

Then Levi slowly stood up, face back to his stoic look. "Hey." He said.

He didn't look so tall closer, Eren realized. He pursed a smile at this, "Can we talk? Alone?"

Levi's brows rose. "Sure. After you."

Eren nodded, turning on his heels to exit the room. Levi glanced over his shoulder, looking at the stunned silence behind.

 

 

 

_**16 May 2007, 9:20 AM** _

_**Along the Boat Deck, RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

Levi and the rich brat were walking side-by-side.

He has his hands deep in his pockets, Farlan's camera slung around his neck and Levi's very own portfolio tucked in his arms. He was scowling at various people who would look at their way, at the mismatched duo; one who's wearing a long and expensive-looking winter trench coat for the cold air on the aft and one who's sporting a rough combination of rugged, white long-sleeved polo shirt matched with some classic suspenders and dark, faded chinos.

Levi was never ashamed of being poor but right then, he was  _pissed_. Not that it's this young kid's fault anyway. But somehow, Levi wanted to close their societal gap so he can freely talk to him about  _things_. He's not exactly talkative, so the thought surprised him. But it's just awkward as hell, for a myriad of reasons and he kept wondering where this was headed. Well, he sort of knew why they were here in the first place but Levi can't pinpoint what was inside the kid's mind.

That was another surprise because usually, Levi was a good reader. But this time, no matter how much he thought of this boy with the hazel, almond-shaped eyes last night until morning, he was still finding it difficult to guess what his personality was. It's like he was a colorful shambles and shards of identity. Each one shining at its brightest and most vivid color. He was young, that's a given, probably in his early-twenties. But his eyes held a different kind of formidability even for his youth.

A few seconds ticked by and Levi was getting impatient. When he can't take it any longer, he pushed the uneasy atmosphere away and decided to be the one to break the ice.

"You got a name?" Levi said.

The kid glanced up at him, blinking. "I assumed you already know it by now."

Levi raised a brow. He liked to look hella intimidating at times. "Well yeah." He said. "But it's more polite to ask first."

The kid smiled shyly at this. Was he impressed? Not that Levi liked to impress. "Eren." He said. "Eren Jaeger."

"You German or something?" Levi asked; he was sure the kid's tongue lilted like a Yankee.

Eren shrugged. "My father partly was."

Levi chose to ignore the past tense. He just nodded.

"And you are?"

"Whether I'm German?" Levi said. "I told you I'm French—"

"No—I mean—your full name."

"Levi," He automatically responded, almost snapping. "Levi Ackerman."

"Ah," the kid hummed, seemingly not affronted. "I see," There's an awkward pause. Then, "Look, Mr. Ackerman, I—"

"Jus' Levi." He prompted. "It's fine, kid."

"Levi." Eren said. "I… I can't feel my face right now. I'm so ashamed about last night and it's hard for me to pluck up the courage to seek you out."

They kept on walking, Levi watched some kids playing tag around the steamer chairs. "Well, here you are now."

"Here I am now." Eren nodded. "And I'd like to personally thank you for everything you did last night."

Levi regarded him carefully. "I didn't do anything so mighty. I might've saved your life last night but I'm sure anyone can do that when they're in my position."

"I know." Eren said, pausing. "But I'm not just talking about the fact that you almost went overboard yourself saving me but also… for your words and… discretion."

He watched the boy watch him, eyes deep and green and genuine. "I didn't even try so hard convincing you  _not_  to jump, you know? You even seemed insulted."

Eren smiled albeit sadly. "I know. But believe me, I'm thankful for that. No one knew my response would be miraculously reverse."

Levi laughed darkly, stepping beside Eren to lean on the railing. He watched the Atlantic dancing gracefully below them. "I'm not sure if that's a fucking good thing."

"I'm still alive. So, it is," Eren said.

Levi looked at this intriguing boy, and suddenly, he  _was_  curious.

"I know what you're thinking right now." Eren said, looking at the horizon, his eyes slitted against the soft sun. "'Look at this rich asshole! Who is he kidding? How can he be  _so_  miserable and suicidal!?'" When Levi didn't respond, Eren stole a glance. "Right?"

Levi was already looking at him. He shook his head. "Nah," he said. "I mean, yeah, I've thought about that. A couple of times actually. But then I realized, you're just human, after all. And you're young." He paused, frowning. "It's just that… I wondered how shitty your path had become to squeeze the life and will out of you for you to think that death is just the blissful end?"

Eren didn't answer; he just ducked his head, looking at his shoes.

"I'm no judgmental fella." Levi backpedaled. "But it's just kind of sad. And to see in your eyes that you have so much…"

Eren looked at him, waiting.

 _So much life to be ignited and lived._ He didn't say it, though. He clucked his tongue, hiding the suspended words from his mouth.

Eren sighed, looking ahead again. "My father died this year," he started.

Levi looked at him.

"And my mom and I were left with a million of debts and an almost bankrupted company to run. It's not hopeless, I guess. But I'd have to be married off to a prominent heir in order to save everything, everyone. It's a good choice. The only choice, really. S'not bad, after all. But then I'd have to stop Art University. And.. that really sucks, you know. Because, painting and drawing is my  _entire life_  and everyone thinks I'm such a good, noble, selfless guy and millions of people were expecting so highly of me and I just want to let go already and say I can't do it but I can't let my mom shoulder it all and I honestly want to be mad at my dad but he's dead and gone and I miss him so much—" his voice cracked. Eren paused. Then he laughed humorlessly. "Am I too shallow?"

Levi shook his head slowly. "You could've stopped at your first reason and I still wouldn't think you're too shallow," he grumbled. "Though that's still not a valid reason to fucking kill yourself."

Eren sighed again, ashamed. "I know." He murmured. "Truthfully, I didn't know I was this… suppressed and alone and… I just felt the need to run and run and escape. You know that feeling? Like you're trapped inside a box? No windows, no doors. But you can't let yourself out because there are a lot of things far more important to tend than being trapped in a box. At least inside you're alive and breathing."

"Yeah but you're just existing." Levi countered. "You're not living."

Eren looked at him, nodding. "Exactly."

Five seconds passed and Levi didn't even hesitate, "That blond, broad penguin fella last night, is he one of them? Those people who wanted you inside the box?"

Eren blinked, looking confused. Then, "Penguin? I… oh! Reiner!" He threw his head back, laughing. "Sadly, yes."

"Do you love him?"

Eren whipped his head at him, his eyes wide. "I'm sorry?"

"That penguin. Is he your fiancé? Do you love him?"

Eren looked taken aback. Levi patiently waited but in the outside, he just looked bored. Then, "I... That's so... I'm— No! I mean, Reiner's an ex, but he's not— I just—  _How did you know I'm gay?_ "

Levi's face was impassive. Why was the kid so flustered? "I didn't. But now I do."

Eren opened his mouth but no sound came out. After a moment of gawking, he said slowly, "You are a rude, uncouth, and presumptuous bastard," The words held no intensity however. It was obvious; he was trying hard not to smile.

A shrug. "Thank you," Levi said, smirking. "Been called far worse." He paused, shifting and turning around. One of his elbows was hanging on the railing behind him. "So what now? Answer the question. Do you love the guy or not?"

Eren huffed a short, disbelieving laugh. "I'm not going to answer that question, savior or not, Sir Levi Ackerman." He said. "And besides, he's not my fiancé! His cousin Krista Reiss is."

Levi grunted. "And he's an ex, yeah?" He said. "Sounds complicated, if you ask me,"

"Well I'm not asking you," Eren's nose was up in the air. It's cute. Levi fought a rare smile. "And don't judge our situation yet, please."

Levi clucked his tongue again. "I wasn't judging you, kid."

Eren slitted his eyes. "Don't call me that. I'm not a kid. Nor angel boy."

The smile he was fighting off broke through. "You remembered that, yeah?  _Angel boy_ ,"

Eren rolled his eyes, his mouth twisting into a shy smile. It's really adorable. "You know what? I think I will leave now. It's really nice meeting you. It's a pleasure." He thrusted his hand out which Levi looked at with a raised eyebrow.

He flicked his fringes from his face. "Well, it was a pleasure to you, yet you insulted me," he drawled, eyes glittering with amusement. "Wouldn't you want to stay longer?"

Eren raised his brows, eyes flicking at his ignored hand. He retracted then, quite miffed. "You know what, Mr. Ackerman, you should go, not me."

Levi looked at him, face in apathy. "Seriously,"

Eren propped a hand on his hip. "Seriously! This is supposed to be  _my_  side of the ship, you know!"

Levi looked away, dark laughter barking out his chest. "You really  _are_  something, aren't you, kid?"

Said kid held his chin higher, almost sneering playfully. "Now you  _are_  insulting me." Levi was sure he's trying to look scary and intimidating. It's a waste of effort, even with his height. Poor, cute thing.

He noncommittally examined the camera around his neck, "Hm,"

The kid huffed. There was a pause.

Levi looked up, raising a brow. "Thought you're already leavi—"

"What's that?" Eren snapped.

Levi looked down at the camera again. He removed it from his neck and—

"What's that thing you're carrying all around?" Eren immediately snatched the portfolio tucked in his arm, opening it and flipping through the photographs with his eyebrows arched. He looked skeptical, humming and mumbling "Hm, well, well,"

Levi let him be. Those are just some of his novice shots anyway, nothing special; he's not Farlan. He leaned his back against the railing, nodding at some guards passing by.

Eren kept on looking at the photographs in the portfolio. As seconds passed by, his eyes became soft, the arch in his eyebrows vanishing. "Well…"

The kid's shoulders relaxed, and slowly, his feet started moving, sauntering to a nearby deck chair and sitting on it. Levi followed.

"You're a photographer?" Eren looked up at him, squinting at the sun.

Levi shrugged. "Not really. My friend is. I just took a bit of a liking in it. Trying some normal hobby. Those a'just noob shots."

"Noob shots?" Eren arrived in a series of photographed people after the landascapes. "These aren't just noob shots," he paused, gaze transfixed on a particular candid shot of a woman and a baby. The picture was grainy but Eren looked impressed. He looked up. "You are talented. Really, Levi."

Levi didn't say anything, but he bit his inside cheek. He shifted, then reached out to turn the page. "This one's my favorite,"

Eren looked at the picture. It was a photograph of an inside of a pub, probably in London.

"You see, in this one," Levi started, leaning closely, "the whole picture has turbulence on its own, it's mad; you can see it. The bartender and these jerks. These prostitutes and those wankers. Even these three men almost ready to start a brawl. It's chaotic."

Eren's eyes momentarily flicked at him then back down again.

"But then when you look closely, you'll see meaning. Those bartender and jackass are jus' having fun, you see. Old fucktard was chatty but he occasionally gives people some free shots every now and then. An' you cannot not laugh at his jokes. He's a good ol' man.

"And those girls and those wankers. Well, Bloody Kenny's a menace on his own but he never takes any of them home. They're sweet lot, the girls, and the owners take good care of them a lot." He paused. "And those arseholes about to throw a punch out there, well they're all best mates. And you can see he's laughing, not shoutin'. Billie's a bit off his knocker, yeah, but he's just competitive, The fucker can't accept I can beat him in arm wrestling any nights."

Eren was silent.

Levi looked up. "It's good, eh?"

" _A Night at a London Pub_ ," The kid murmured, eyes twinkling.

"I'm sorry?" Levi said.

Eren blinked, and then he looked up at him, quite startled. "Oh—uh, did I say that out loud?"

Levi's head tilted in curiosity.

Eren laughed, scratching his cheek. "I just thought… you know. It's a good picture to paint. I see this image surging in my mind when I'm already painting in my canvas and the name just comes out sometimes."

Oh. Levi almost forgot.

 _Painting and drawing is my entire life,_ Eren had said. He's the real artist here.

"Right," Levi nodded. "So you.. draw things and all,"

Eren smiled, nodding. "I guess we've found a common denominator."

"Oh, no, no." Levi chuckled uneasily. "I'm not really an artist like you. I'm better at police chase and stuff,"

The kid blinked. "Do you get by being a…"

"You mean if I'm a wanted criminal?" Levi asked, his smile teasing. "Go on, you can say that. I'm a poor man, after all."

Eren huffed an uneasy laugh. "Are you?"

"Maybe?" Levi smirked. Oh, he loved being playful with this kid. It's entertaining to see his reactions.

"I won't judge," Eren said, shrugging. "Even if I came from a very judgmental, conservative, and highly-opinionated family."

Levi looked away, cheeks lifted. "Well.. that's.. good to hear,"

Eren glanced at the photographs again. "But you  _are_  gifted, Levi. I mean it. You see people."

Levi looked at him again, now his eyes were foreboding, boring into Eren's irises. "I see you,"

The kid smiled. His eyes were teasing as well. "And…?"

"You wouldn'ta jumped." Levi countered.

Eren ducked his head, biting down a grin.

 

 

 

_**16 May 2007, 12:07 PM** _

_**Along A Deck Promenade, RMS Carpathia** _

_**Southampton, England, UK to New York, New York, USA** _

It was nearing lunch, and Levi and Eren were still strolling aft, past people lounging on deck chairs in the afternoon light. Stewards scurry to serve easy lunches. The two were munching some hotdog sandwiches.

"I already feel like I'm in the States," Levi snickered at the hotdogs.

"These are nothing compared to the real New York hotdogs and burgers. All greasy and unhealthy."

"I doubt you're allowed to eat greasy ad unhealthy," Levi pointed out.

Eren deflated. "You're right." He admitted. "But I'm free when I'm at Cali."

Levi pursed a smile, imagining a full-on Cali-tanned Eren surfing with the waves.

Eren raised a brow at his since. "Is it your first time going away? You said you're French."

Levi shrugged. "First time after a long while, I guess." He paused, staring at a small smear of ketchup on Eren's chin.

Eren paused walking, "How old are you, anyway?"

Levi smirked, pausing as well and looking at him. "I'll answer that if you answer my only question." He reached out to wipe the ketchup off his chin.

The kid blinked. "Okay?"

"Do you still love that penguin guy or not?"

"Oh, good God," Eren rolled his eyes, strolling away.

Levi followed, breathing a low laugh.

"I'm thirty-one," he said suddenly.

He felt Eren looked at him sideways. Then, "You don't look thirty-one at all."

"Are you impressed?" Levi smirked.

He snorted. "I'm twenty," he said. "And no, I'm not impressed."

"Oho," Levi huffed. "You should see me at the streets of England. I'm quite infamous."

When Eren didn't reply, Levi thought he was somehow offended. But then, "I'm quite envious of you, you know." Eren looked at him, eyes sad.

Their steps slowed down, and they both paused to linger near a steamer chair. They were both done with their hotdogs, having eaten it while walking; Levi reached out to hold a high chain near the railings.

"Why?"

Eren held the railing in front of him, staring afar. "I want to be free, too." He paused. "You just don't see it, but I'm tied in chains. When I get home in New York, I'll be completely locked out."

Levi frowned. "You can continue with your life after you tied the knot,"

Eren smiled sadly again. "You don't understand. It's… this life I have now... I don't have a say anymore. It's…" He looked at Levi, pausing. "I want to have a studio and gallery of my own someday, you know."

Levi stared, waiting.

"My painting and artworks on display... with lots of people appreciating what I do.. what I live for." He paused, having an idea. "And we can also display your photographs!" He grinned.

Levi smiled lightly. "Well, I'm a bit flattered to be given a space in your gallery,"

Eren grinned. "You'll see!" he said. "Someday I'll find you and we're going to do that!"

"Sure," Levi shrugged, smirking. "But I would have to bring up my best photographs yet. More practice and less thievery,"

Eren threw his head back again, laughing. "Oh my God," he said. "Are you serious?"

Levi shook his head slowly. "Nah," he said. "I think I'd have to let go pick-pocketing when we get to the docks. New York's a new world, after all."

Eren smiled. "You mean that?"

Levi nodded. He hadn't thought about that before but, hey, he meant it. Somehow.. Eren made him want to become a better man. He has a gift as he said. If that's true, he's willing to use that.

"I'm glad." Eren said. "Well then, let's find each other someday." He grinned. "I'll surely find you someday. Then we'll have to become the man we wanted to be! We might end up poor but free!"

Levi clucked his tongue. He scrunched his nose. "Ah, but I don't think you'll last being poor. Three days tops,"

Eren scowled, "Why's that?"

"There's no hot water.. hardly any good meals a day.. We'll have to get by stale bread and cheap beers."

Eren's hands were on his hips again, eyebrows gone up his hairline. "Look, fucker. I'm not a prim and proper prince. And I'm tired of people looking down on me and saying that I won't last long in the real world without money and only my abilities alone!" He said haughtily. "I am Eren fucking Jaeger!"

Levi grinned, looking up at the afternoon sky. "There goes your foul mouth, finally," he said. "Well, o'right, I take everything back. I'll say you can survive. Four weeks tops,"

Eren looked insulted. "You—" The he paused, and he laughed, resigned. "You are  _so_  rude!"

Levi shrugged, smirking. "Thanks," he said. "It's a talent."

 

 

_**05:37 PM** _

Bathed in orange light, Levi and Eren were leaning on the A-deck rail aft, shoulder to shoulder. The ship's lights turned on.

"So then what, Mr. Levi Wanderer Ackerman?" Eren said, staring at the sunset.

Levi was telling him his adventures back in France when he was very young and in London to Southampton just recently. How he survived in life, met great strangers and people he will never forget. He told him how Farlan and him met one night, practically enemies at first. "But I broke the arsehole's arm that time," he had said, reminiscing. "And from then he started worshipping me,"

Now, they were both standing side-by-side, shoulders touching, both watching the orange and pink skies casting from the sun setting on the horizon.

"Well, we're adventurers, Farlan and I. So here we are. Gon' aboard Carpathia, with paths ahead and unknown even to us." He paused. "It's ballsy, wandering blind. But that's where the thrill comes from."

He heard Eren sighed. "Why can't I just be like you?" he said. "Just head out for the horizon whenever I feel like it," He turned to him. "Say we'll really do it, sometime... that gallery... even if we only ever just talk about it,"

"Yeah." Levi said, nodding. "And if it's a success, we'll drink cheap beer and go cheap pub hopping till daybreak till we ended throwing up and we'll head downtown to see what the real artists are doin'."

Eren grinned. "You'll be a very fine photographer by then." He said. "Maybe I can pose for you and you'll teach me how to snap a few good ones with killer angles."

"If that's the case, then you will teach me how to draw and paint and shit,"

Levi saw him faltered. But, "Okay." Eren said. "Someday. When I get back to painting again."

He frowned. "Why? Did you stop?"

The kid shrugged. "I'm not painting anymore. It's useless. And I can't seem to find any fortitude at all,"

"That's…" Levi searched for a fitting word, but he just shook his head. "I'm sure you can get back to it. Painting, I mean." He paused. "Say you will,"

Eren paused, looking at him. For a second, Levi thought he'd refuse. But he smiled, eyes shining. "Yeah." Eren said. "I'll paint again. Someday."

Levi nodded, "And you can spit on those fucktards who want you locked up in a box."

Eren shook in laughter. "If I know how to spit, yeah."

Levi whirled on him, face a mixture of incredulity and disgust. "They don't teach you that in High School?"

"In— High School?" Eren gaped. "I mean—no!"

"Well it's easy," he paused. "Look—" He spat. It arced out over the water. "You try."

Eren looked scandalized. "That's disgusting!"

"You  _are_  disgusting if you don't know how to spit, angel boy. Go on just like this— _hnnkkk_ —" He spat again.

Eren looked around, and then he screwed up his mouth and spat at the water. A pathetic little bit of foamy spittle which mostly runs down his chin before falling off into the water.

"That's just pathetic," Levi deadpanned. "Here, like this.. you hawk it down— _HHHNNNK_ —! Then roll it on your tongue, up to the front, like thith, then a big breath and  _PLOOH!_  You see the range on that thing?"

He went through the steps and finally let fly. So does Levi as he coached the kid. Their spits flew out at the Atlantic.

"That's nice!" Levi smirked, repeating it. "You see, you just have to  _HNNNGK_ —"

Then Eren visibly blanched, looking behind him.

"Well, hello, my dear." A female voice sounded.

When Levi looked, he saw a group of finely-dressed women watching them and their little spit-coaching scene. He gulped, swallowing his own gob of spit already running down his chin.

"Mom," Eren said, looking instantly composed. "Lady Reiss. Mikasa," he paused. "Er, may I introduce Levi Ackerman."

"It's a pleasure," A very beautiful woman with brown hair and warm eyes greeted him. This looked like Eren's mother. Levi smiled at her, bowing slightly. He saw a black-haired girl who must be the Mikasa gestured him to wipe his chin. Levi quickly wiped the spit there.

"Charmed, I'm sure," another woman said. This one's blonde, with a very cold look in her face. Levi found it difficult to smile at her. It's obvious she's not very pleased.

"Good evening ma'am," Levi nodded at them. His voice was deep but polite enough.

They all jump as a bugler sounded the classic bugle call right behind them. It's time for dinner.

"Well," Eren said, "Shall we all get dressed, ladies?"

Eren's mother nodded, smiling. "See you at dinner, Mr. Ackerman."

Levi nodded. As he watched Eren walked away with his mother and the blonde woman flanked on either side of him, he didn't realize a voice was calling out to him.

"Excuse me!" the voice said.

Levi blinked, looking at the black-haired girl beside him.

"Levi, right?" Mikasa asked.

"That's me," Levi said.

"Do you have the slightest comprehension of what you're doing?" Mikasa prompted, an eyebrow arched.

Levi scowled. "I'm sorry?"

"You're walking into a snake pit." She said. "Tell me, what are you planning to wear?"

Levi looked down at his clothes and gestured at them.

Mikasa snorted. "I figured." She sighed. "Well then Jean's won't fit you but I think Armin has something close your size, at least. Follow me,"

Confused but a little bit thrilled, Levi followed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might be the last update i can do before i go in hiatus for a while.  
> i lurk at [twitter](http://twitter.com/outofstyle95) and [tumblr](http://luh-dadi-dadi.tumblr.com) oftentimes. all the love.

**Author's Note:**

> \- le [twittah](http://twitter.com/outofstyle95)!  
> \- le [tumblah](http://luh-dadi-dadi.tumblr.com)!  
> u can send me prompts [here](http://luh-dadi-dadi.tumblr.com/ask).


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